I'll Be Home For Christmas
by cecimoose
Summary: Rachel always spends Christmas the same way: alone. Will this year be any different? Finchel Oneshot


Rachel sighed softly to herself as she hung the last ornament on the tree for the third year in a row. It was always the same one-a small picture of her and Finn that she had mounted in a piece of heart-shaped plastic and lined with a ribbon. Her fingers danced over the image of the boy's face and her eyes started to tear up; she had gotten used to crying nearly every day, though it was becoming less frequent now. Maybe because she was starting to run out of tears. It wasn't because she was missing him any less, that was for sure. Or maybe she was just beginning to accept the fact that she had no idea when she would see him again.

It had been over two and a half years since she had last seen him, running after the train that he had put her on. She could barely see him through her tears, but she knew that he was there. When she stepped foot in New York, however, her sadness began to vanish a little as she took in the sights, sounds, and even the smells of her new home. She knew that she would fit in, but even so, there was _always_ something missing.

It first hit her when she began decorating her apartment. Her dads had gotten it for her in order to give her one less thing to worry about, and had even agreed to pay the rent until she got on her feet and settled in the city. They had left the decorating up to her, though, and she found herself in the bathroom, sitting on the toilet and sobbing half an hour into her shopping trip. She didn't want to decorate. Not without Finn. She felt like she was wasting her time looking at countless numbers of already-furnished rooms and entire apartments if she would be the only one choosing them.

The second time she broke down was opening night of her first Broadway show. Rachel had tried to be strong when she realized she couldn't call him first to tell him that she would be Elphaba. She had somehow made it through rehearsals, as wrong as she felt about kissing her male lead, without much heartache, but when she took her final bow, accepting the standing ovation, looking into the audience and not seeing her fiancé's face just proved too much for her. She could barely stay on the stage for the time she had to before she felt the tears streaming down her face, ruining her makeup. It normally would have been embarrassing for an entire audience to see her like that but she didn't really care. It had all hit her like a sandbag. But her fans came first, and she pulled herself together and headed out the stage door, signing autographs and taking pictures with whoever wanted them. But when she got home, she spent longer than usual in the shower, hoping that the spray would wash away her tears.

And the third time was Christmas. She was Jewish, so she never really celebrated the holiday until she met Finn, but in New York, her entire apartment was decked out in Christmas decorations. But they still reminded her of the fact that she was, once again, celebrating the holidays alone. Every Christmas was the same routine: on the 24th, she would write her letter to Santa and go to Macy's in Times Square to deliver it to his mailbox. Sure, she knew it was childish, but they had done it their last Christmas together and she wanted to keep up the tradition. After that, she would go home and pour herself a glass of sparkling cider, watch Christmas specials on TV, and go to bed early. On the 25th, she would wake up and make herself a special breakfast, whatever she decided that would be, and watch more Christmas specials until she called one of her friends to go out to lunch. She went ahead and explained to everyone that she wanted to be alone on the holidays, especially Christmas. When they asked why, a justification and a flash of her ring would be all they'd need. Rachel appreciated them for that; they were always understanding.

And even though she had just turned 21, Rachel still found herself pouring sparkling cider into her glass. She didn't want to break the tradition. One last look around the apartment confirmed that she was alone before she turned on the TV and rested her head against the back of the couch. Although lonely, Rachel had to admit that spending the holidays alone was at least relaxing. Being around a lot of people was beginning to get a little hectic for her, and her ever-changing schedule was making it more and more difficult for her to find any time alone. Rachel Berry time was precious, so she almost didn't answer the knock on her door, figuring it was some caroler who wanted her money. But they seemed persistent, knocking again a moment later when she hadn't answered the first time. She sighed to herself and got up to open the door, not even bothering to look through the peephole. Who would be bothering her on Christmas Eve of all nights? She was hoping the stranger would get the message just by the look on her face, but as she swung open the door, her expression changed from annoyed to completely shocked as she looked her visitor in the eye. It was Finn.

She must have been confused because the man in front of her started to chuckle, his eyes sparkling in the way that she remembered and missed. His dimples became present as the corners of his mouth curved, showing off his shiny white teeth. There was a little bit of scruff on his jaw and she wasn't normally one to enjoy it but it looked really good on him. Her eyes moved up and down his body; he was just as tall as she remembered, if not more so.

"Hi." That one word coming out of his mouth sent chills down her spine and a mixture of emotions coursing through her. His voice was a bit lower than it was when she had last seen him. She liked it. Her voice finally found itself and she got one word out before it failed her again.

"Hi."

She wished that she could have been more presentable than a tank top and plain flannel pants, but she figured that Finn probably enjoyed the view; she could feel his eyes boring into her body and for a moment she felt uncomfortable, almost as if he were a stranger.

"Merry Christmas," he spoke again, his eyes never leaving hers. He stilled loved her she could tell be the way he was looking at her. It was the same way he had looked at her at their wedding. With just that one look, her worst fears vanished. There had been no other girl hanging on his arm, peppering his face with kisses the way that she did. No other girl singing romantic duets with him in the car on the way to get coffee or laughing at him when he tries his best at any dance move thrown his way. No one else had cuddled up with him by the fire, sipping at hot tea for her and hot chocolate for him until they fell asleep, her head on his shoulder, his head rested on top of hers, their fingers intertwined.

"Christmas isn't until tomorrow." She didn't know where the flirty statement had come from, but it left her mouth, pairing itself with a small smirk, almost as if she would know his answer. It was almost like he hadn't even left.

"Well them I guess I'll have to stay for a while." His smirk greeted hers quickly and before she knew it, he was in her apartment, or was it now _their_ apartment? She felt like pinching herself to make sure that it wasn't a dream. Finn set his bag down by the door and it looked like it belonged. And then his arms were around her, hugging her, holding her. She nearly felt herself melting into his touch. "I'm sorry I haven't been writing..."

Finn and Rachel had started writing each other about a month after she got to New York. It was actually Rachel that first received a letter in the mail from Finn. At first, she was confused, but then tears started to flood her eyes as she read what it said. Finn wanted to write to her. Not e-mail her or text her, but literally write letters to her because that's how guys that were in the army wrote to their wives back in the old times and he thought it sounded like a cool idea. And he wanted her to know that he loved her and that he would be thinking about her every second of every day while he was gone and that he would try to get back to her as fast as he could because he really wanted to marry her. He also said that he was sorry again for sending her to New York by herself, and that he would be there to see her in a show one day, and to make sure to save some room in the refrigerator for his food when he got back. She wrote back almost immediately, sending her pictures that she took of her apartment. It was like that until a few months before that Christmas, when the letters had stopped. She got increasingly worried every day that passed, and she felt as if she would never see him again. It wasn't unlike her to expect the worst.

"It's okay..." she whispered, and found her voice muffled by his fluffy down vest. But she liked it. It smelled like him. And snow. His arms felt so strange around her, but so right. She looked up into his gorgeous eyes and saw him looking down into hers. Her arms tightened around his torso as she buried her face into his chest. "I missed you so, so much..." she whispered, although she wasn't sure whether or not he could hear her.

"I missed you too." Rachel felt Finn's breath in her hair. He was getting warm extremely quickly, so she pulled away. "You can um..take off your jackets and stuff and put them...wherever." He nodded and did so, taking off first his vest, then his sweater, leaving his long sleeved shirt, which got its sleeves rolled up. Rachel's eyes widened; he had gotten more muscular. A _lot_ more muscular. In his arms, especially. That was why they had felt strange. But she liked them. And she felt that stir in her again, the one that made her want to jump into his arms and kiss him and push him down on the couch and straddle him and just push her tongue into his mouth until they were both out of breath. But she didn't do that. Instead, she took the few steps it took to get in front of him again, ran her hand down his muscular chest, biting her lip softly, before grabbing the material and pulling him down for a deep kiss. She felt his moan into it and suddenly it was like nothing had changed. Her arms were wrapped around his neck, playing with the hair on the back of his head, and his arms were holding her waist tight, their lips working against each other slowly and lovingly, as if there were no other cares in the world.

They pulled away and they smiled at each other. Rachel licked her lips. Finn did the same to his. For a few seconds, the two just looked into each other's eyes, their way of reconnecting. They didn't need words or gifts or touches, they just needed each other. And in that moment, they had all of those things. Finn's gaze finally broke away from hers and wandered towards the tree, as if confused that she decorated this much for Christmas.

"It's your favorite holiday," she explained, biting her lip and smiling as his fingers slid through her small ones, leading her to the Christmas tree that was shorter than he was. His free hand found the ornament that was the picture of them and held it, pulling it towards his face to get a closer look. He just met her with another smile.

They sat on the couch, cuddled into each other, watching Rudolph and Frosty until Rachel let out a small yawn. Being with him again was so relaxing that she couldn't help but be tired in his presence, even though it was barely eleven o'clock. He noticed and asked if she wanted to go to bed. She nodded, knowing that he would be with her when she woke up. They walked into her bedroom together and he went into the bathroom to change into his pajamas. She loved that about him. Even though they were together, he figured he could be modest since they hadn't seen each other in a long time. Of course, Finn had never been one to walk around shirtless, but it was probably better for Rachel. She was afraid that if she saw him change, she would be on top of him before he could get into the bed, and that wasn't what they needed.

She was almost asleep by the time he returned, and she smiled to herself as she felt his weight settle next to her on the bed. She was facing away from him, but he didn't seem to mind at all. He pressed his torso against her back, and she moaned contently as she cuddled back into him. There was only one night that they had gotten to sleep in the same bed, and it was just like that. Except this time, the arms around her were muscle, but the breath on her neck was warm and minty, and the bedroom was decorated differently. She felt like a teenager again, her hand slowly rising to rest itself on his arm. Yeah, she would be okay with changing her Christmas tradition.

"I love you, Rachel." His voice was quiet, barely a whisper in her ear. But she heard it.

"I love you too, Finn."


End file.
